Roll Over!

Proof! 4/18/12 - in a previously impossible position!

I haven’t been able to lay on my stomach for years. It’s funny to say that. Weird. You see babies, sunbathers, people sleeping peacefully on their stomachs all the time. It is physiologically not a big deal. I mean, there isn’t an Olympic category for rolling over.

It is a big deal to me. I haven’t been in that position for so long that it has grown into a real fear. It is a very hard position for me to get in to.  Asghar has an acronym about FEAR - False Evidence Appears Real - and this was one of those situations. I know intellectually that my fear of being in that position is a little hysterical/irrational - but man, it sure feels real! 

What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t get back up? What if I bump/hurt my knee (I’m jumpy about my knees)? What if it hurts? Lots of what ifs! The MS symptoms had created a perfect roadblock and my mind had filled in the blanks about all the reasons such a position was a really, really bad idea.

So - years go by and I haven’t even tried to roll over or lay flat on the floor on my stomach. Of course there are stretches and tricky exercises you can do if you get there - but I wasn’t signing up for any of it. My body had a quirky refusal to get in that position and I wasn’t arguing with it.

So today, when Asghar told me I was rolling over - I was nervous. I knew he’d have some way to do it, and he wouldn’t let anything go wrong, but I was skeptical that I was physically ready and it was the very last thing I wanted to do! I’d hoped against hope that Asghar would forget to ever ask me to lay on my stomach. He’s creative, surely we can find some other exercise! The thing with Asghar is he has an uncanny intuition into seeing the parts of your body you aren’t using or movements you aren't doing - I shouldn’t have been surprised when he good naturally zeroed in and set me up for a challenge. I'd have gladly signed up for 1000 reps with free weights instead of this. I'd actually rather have a root canal or sit through a Republican primary debate than do this...but I gave it a go.

I was a tough case, my mind wanted to give it a try but my limbs shrieked “hell no - you don’t do this!” I had to really mentally push as much as I did physically.

I managed it though! Briefly, inelegantly and clumsily I put myself in a position I hadn’t achieved in years. As weird as it felt, there was a sense to it. I achieved a long overdue stretch and I also achieved the knowledge that physical tasks I has viewed as “off-limits” were achievable.

I’m including a cheesy photo where I am looking altogether pleased with myself before I unceremoniously rolled back over on my side! Like I said, it wasn’t pretty! But it was cool to move in a direction I hadn’t been in for years and see I was still capable of something I had thought was lost.

One small roll for a girl, one giant leap for fitnesskind!